Onesiphorus: A Friend in Need

Second Timothy 1:15–18 speaks about friends. There are two kinds of Christian friends. One kind will forsake us when trouble comes; the other kind sticks with us even in the hour of our deepest need.

True Christians are not fair-weather friends. They are friends in our time of deepest need and make sacrifices to help us. The Lord’s disciples ran away from Jesus in the hour of his deepest need. Peter even denied him three times. Paul experienced the same kind of desertion.¹ Many ministers have experienced the same thing.

Those who are truly born of God will persevere to the end and be fruitful to the Lord. Paul wrote, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Eph. 2:10). He also says that Christ “gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good” (Titus 2:14). John tells us, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers” (1 John 3:16).

Paul desired to see his beloved son Timothy and be filled with joy before his expected martyrdom. Most of Paul’s friends were turning away from him. Paul was encouraging Timothy to not be timid or ashamed of Paul, the Lord’s apostle and prisoner. He was telling Timothy that he must preach the gospel, suffer for the gospel, and guard the gospel in the power of the Holy Spirit. Timothy should trust in Jesus, who destroyed our death and brought to light immortal life. Jesus did this for all God’s elect by his life, death, and resurrection. To the believer, death is gain, for it opens the door to God’s presence.

Friends Who Forsake Us

Paul begins, “You know that everyone in the province of Asia has deserted me, including Phygelus and Hermogenes” (v. 15). Paul knew that Timothy was aware that a group of Paul’s friends had deserted him. These friends were from the Roman province of Asia (that is, western Turkey), where Ephesus was and where Timothy was ministering.

Paul was not saying that every believer had abandoned him, but only a group of prominent leaders of Asia. It is possible that these leaders deserted him when he was rearrested in or near Ephesus by Rome for some trumped up new charges against him. These leaders may have abandoned Paul and his gospel as some heretics were doing. Of such people Paul wrote, “They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths” (2 Tim. 4:4; see also Titus 2:14). He uses the same Greek word for turning away, or desertion (apostrephô) in his statement: “Everyone in the province of Asia deserted me.”

Alternatively, these leaders may have been afraid to be seen with Paul, who was now considered a criminal of the state. Friends of such a criminal could be arrested, put in prison, tried, and executed. So these leaders did not want to come to help Paul or give witness to his innocence and godly character. The truth is, they ran away without giving him any help. So Paul was rearrested and taken to Rome as a prisoner in chains.

When Paul wrote 2 Timothy, Nero was the Caesar. Paul had earlier appealed to him before Festus to get a fair trial (see Acts 25:10–11) and was set free, in due time. Nero was the great-great-grandson of Augustus Caesar and the adopted son of Claudius. He became emperor in AD 54 and committed suicide at age 31 in AD 68. He was known for his brutality, murdering his mother, his wife, and several others. In AD 64, there was a fire in the slums of Rome, which spread and destroyed half of the city. Christians were blamed for the fire; as a result, many were killed by burning, while a number of others fled. In fact, the church of Rome was almost destroyed by this mad emperor. Under his rule, Christians were no longer protected under the legal cover of Judaism. The persecution that began under Nero lasted for nearly three centuries until the time of Constantine.

In this terrible climate, Christian leaders were refusing to identify with the rearrested apostle. Even his fellow worker Demas left him. At Paul’s preliminary hearing, no one from Asia or from Rome came to support him.

One reason Paul’s friends left him was that because Nero claimed himself lord, it was a crime to confess Jesus as Lord. Yet we know that without confessing, “Jesus is Lord,” no one can be saved. The gospel stands opposed to Caesar. Paul wrote, “I tell you that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, “Jesus be cursed,” and no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the [power of the] Holy Spirit” (1 Cor. 12:3). He also said, “If you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Rom. 10:9). Elsewhere he declared, “We do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord” (2 Cor. 4:5).

So Paul’s friends deserted him. Yet when everyone forsakes us, the Lord will never forsake us. Remember what he said: “Surely I will be with you always, even to the end of the age.” He will be with us to strengthen and comfort us in life, in the dungeon, and at the moment of our death. So Paul could write, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God” (2 Cor. 1:3–4).

It is true that Paul had counted on his friends, especially Phygelus and Hermogenes, to help him in his hour of need. But they did not help him; instead, they abandoned him, running away for their own safety. This was a great disappointment for Paul.

Yet true believers will deny themselves, take up their crosses, and follow Jesus to death. We are not following Jesus to get wealth, health, and power. Jesus himself warned his disciples, “Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold.” But then he concluded: “He who stands firm to the end will be saved” (Matt. 24:9–13).

Onesiphorus: A True Friend

In contrast to Phygelus and Hermogenes and others who had deserted him, Paul mentions a true friend: “May the Lord show mercy to the household of Onesiphorus” (v. 16). He was a true friend for six reasons:

1. Philemon had a slave by name Onesimus, which means “profitable”; Onesiphorus means “bringer of profit,” “bringer of blessing.” A true believer is a bringer of the blessing of the gospel to the whole world. He is an edifier, a comforter, a strength-giver. He builds up his friends; he does not pull them down.
2. In verse 18b Paul writes, “You know very well in how many ways [Onesiphorus] helped me in Ephesus.” Onesiphorus was a friend of Paul and Timothy. He was a rich man who lived in Ephesus. Like Philemon, he was a householder. He had a family, servants, and a large estate. Onesiphorus and his family belonged to the church of Ephesus in Asia. He had been ministering to the needs of the apostle for a long time, probably beginning in Paul’s third missionary journey to Ephesus, during which Paul stayed in Ephesus, ministering the gospel for three years (Acts 20:31). We can imagine that Paul had visited his home many times and received gracious ministry from him. So Paul was recalling Onesiphorus’s service to him in the past with gratitude and a prayer, and Timothy knew about the diaconal service Onesiphorus had rendered to Paul. It is possible that Timothy had even gone with Paul to his friend’s house many times. Here we see an example of how God rewards our good works, remembering all that we do in the name of Jesus Christ for his holy people.
3. Now Onesiphorus traveled to Rome to be with Paul while he was in prison. He left his family and estate in God’s hands and went to Rome to fellowship with this criminal of the state. He may have spent two months there, expending his own time and money. He risked his own life to make the arduous long journey, bringing certain gifts—food, clothing, and money—to help the apostle. He was not afraid, like those who had forsaken Paul; rather, he was filled with the Holy Spirit.
4. When Onesiphorus first arrived in Rome, he was not able to find the prison where Paul was kept. Yet he was not discouraged. He kept on praying as he searched for Paul, inquiring of knowledgeable people. Being a state’s criminal, Paul was not allowed to stay in his own rented house as he had during his first Roman imprisonment, which we read about in Acts 28:30–31: “For two whole years Paul stayed there in his own rented house and welcomed all who came to see him. Boldly and without hindrance he preached the kingdom of God and taught about the Lord Jesus Christ.” Paul had enjoyed great freedom at that time. This time it was different. Eventually, though, Onesiphorus found Paul; he was in a maximum security dungeon. Onesiphorus visited with the apostle in the cold dungeon to encourage, comfort, and refresh him. He did so at great possible danger to himself and to his family.
   Onesiphorus was doing what we are told to do in the book of Hebrews: “Remember [meaning “help”] those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering” (Heb. 13:3). We also read, “Even though we speak like this, dear friends, we are confident of better things in your case—things that accompany salvation. God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them” (Heb. 6:9–10).
5. Onesiphorus did not go back to Ephesus and to his family to look after his estate after visiting Paul only once. Paul writes, “He often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chains” (v. 16). Onesiphorus was a true friend and stayed for a number of days to refresh the apostle. The Greek word for “refresh” (anepsuxen) means to help someone to breathe easier. Paul uses it elsewhere, “For they refreshed my spirit and yours also. Such men deserve recognition” (1 Cor. 16:18). Such people will be recognized by the Lord Jesus Christ on the last day. Remember how the eighty-year-old Barzillai refreshed King David while Absalom was pursuing his father to kill him: “Barzillai the Gileadite from Rogelim brought bedding and bowls and articles of pottery. [He and others] also brought wheat and barley, flour and roasted grain, beans and lentils, honey and curds, sheep, and cheese from cows’ milk for David and his people to eat. For they said, ‘The people have become hungry and tired and thirsty in the desert’” (2 Sam. 17:27b–29). Barzillai came to help David in the hour of his deepest need. We also read, “Now Barzillai was a very old man, eighty years of age. He had provided for the king during his stay in Mahanaim, for he was a very wealthy man” (2 Sam. 19:32). Jesus speaks of such people: “I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me” (Matt. 25:36).
6. Onesiphorus was not ashamed of Paul’s chains (v. 16). Earlier in this epistle Paul had told Timothy, “So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God” (2 Tim. 1:8). He also said, “That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day” (2 Tim. 1:12). Jesus calls us to follow him to death. Yes, we may be killed because we are lovers of Christ and preach the gospel. Yet Paul gloried in his chains, speaking of them four times in Philippians 1. How can we not be afraid or ashamed? We must be filled with the Holy Spirit. Onesiphorus, the true friend, was full of the Holy Spirit; thus, he was not afraid. Jesus told his disciples, “You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses” (Acts 1:8). Onesiphorus was full of love, power, and sound mind. (PGM) He was loyal to Paul and the gospel. He knew very well the cost of discipleship. Remember when the Sanhedrin flogged the apostles? Yet they went away rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name. Now Paul was facing death and was forsaken by most of his friends. Yet he was comforted by Onesiphorus, Luke, and above all, Jesus.

Paul Prays for Onesiphorus and His Family

Paul writes, “May the Lord show mercy to the household of Onesiphorus” (v. 16, see also v. 18). He was praying for his dear faithful friend as well as for his family.

The Christian life is characterized by mercy and grace. We are saved by mercy and grace, as Paul himself wrote, “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, raised us together with Christ. . . . For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God” (Eph. 2:4, 8). We needed mercy before and we need mercy now. Paul writes, “To Timothy, my dear son: Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord” (2 Tim. 1:2). We need mercy daily. Paul says about himself, “Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus” (1 Tim. 1:13–14).

And not only do we need mercy now, but we will also need mercy on the day of judgment. So Paul says about his friend Onesiphorus, “May the Lord grant that he will find mercy from the Lord on that day,” meaning the day of judgment (2 Tim. 1:18). Jesus said, “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy” (Matt. 5:7). Onesiphorus and his household showed mercy to Paul, demonstrating clearly that they themselves had received the Lord’s gracious salvation.

Showing mercy, especially to the people of God, is the fruit and proof of salvation. The forgiven forgive; those who have been shown mercy will show it to others. Jesus said, “If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matt. 6:14–15). In the parable of the unmerciful servant, Jesus said the master, who had forgiven the billion dollar debt of the wicked servant, who then refused to forgive another servant, asked, “Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” (Matt. 18:33).

Paul was praying that Onesiphorus and his family would be shown mercy on the day of judgment. We are justified here, and we also will be justified on the last day. Elsewhere Paul declared, “But by faith we eagerly await through the Spirit the righteousness for which we hope” (Gal. 5:5). We experience justification here and justification there, based on the righteousness of Christ. He also wrote, “This will take place on the day when God will judge men’s secrets through Jesus Christ, as my gospel declares” (Rom. 2:16). This is why we must plead with people now: “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved.”

Those who are justified now will also be justified on the last day. And our good works will prove our salvation, which is based on Christ’s righteousness. Our good works themselves are wrought by grace in and through us. And we can be sure that Paul’s prayer for Onesiphorus and his household was heard by God because it was birthed in him by the Holy Spirit.

God delights in blessing his obedient people. Remember Obed-Edom? David placed the ark in his house because God had just killed Uzzah for his irreverent act of touching the ark. Obed-Edom and his family honored, obeyed, worshiped, and served God, and so God blessed them: “The ark of the LORD remained in the house of Obed-Edom the Gittite for three months, and the LORD blessed him and his entire household. Now King David was told, ‘The LORD has blessed the household of Obed-Edom and everything he has, because of the ark of God’” (2 Sam. 6:11–12a).

Eventually, Onesiphorus left his friend Paul and went back to his family in Ephesus. And I say that God blessed him and his family and his property.

Thank God for Onesiphoruses in the church! When many abandon us in our deepest need, a few will come to help us, risking their own lives.

Jesus Is Our True Friend

But we have a friend even greater than Onesiphorus. Jesus said, “I will be with you always, even unto the end of the ages.” So even if all forsake us, there is One who will never forsake us. Remember the three Hebrew children? They were thrown into the fiery furnace. But all of a sudden, there were four men in the furnace, and one was the Son of God (Dan. 2:21–25). In Isaiah we read, “But now, this is what the LORD says—he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, you God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior” (Isa. 43:1–3a). And the psalmist states, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me” (Ps. 23:4).

Our God is with us, in front of us, behind us, and in us. He said, “I am the vine; you are the branches” (John 15:5). And in Hebrews 13:5–6 we read, “God has said, “‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’ So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?’”

Jesus Christ himself is our friend. He said, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:13–15).

Jesus our friend died for our salvation. When did he die for us? When we were still powerless, ungodly, sinners, enemies of God (Rom. 5:6–8). And by his death he destroyed death and brought life and immortality to light for the people of God (2 Tim. 1:9–10). The summary of Christ’s life, death, and resurrection is found in Romans 4:25: “He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification.”

If God is for us, who can be against us? Paul concludes Romans 8 by proclaiming that nothing in all creation is able to cut us off from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Therefore, I plead with you: If you are outside of Christ, if you have not trusted in Christ as your Lord and Savior, I pray that you will cry out to God today. The Bible promises that everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved. We do not know what tomorrow will bring, but you have heard the gospel today. May you trust in Jesus Christ as your friend who died for your salvation.

¹ See P. G. Mathew, Power of the Holy Spirit (Davis, CA: Grace and Glory, 2013), 559–566.