Raising Christian Children

Proverbs 1:7-9
P. G. Mathew | Sunday, June 20, 2021
Copyright © 2021, P. G. Mathew
Language [Japanese]

What Is God Speaking to Christian Fathers?

They say today is Father’s Day. The question is, what is God speaking to Christian fathers? The answer is not found in universities. There is a story about Miss Yeonmi Park, who escaped from North Korea to South Korea and eventually came to the United States. She went to a top university and found that they are teaching Marxism.[1] I never thought that this would happen in this country. But it is the fact.

1. The Answer Is Found in the Bible Only

The answer is not found in today’s universities. It is not found in many churches either because many churches do not believe in the word of God. Even many evangelical churches refuse to preach the gospel. If you doubt this, go to these places and see whether they preach the gospel. The answer is no. Most seminaries also do not believe in the Bible.

The answer is found in the Bible only. In the Bible, God speaks to us personally as we read it. Many of us have received a blessing from our daily reading of the Bible. We read many chapters every day and have been doing so for many years.

The Westminster Confession of Faith, chapter 1, speaks about the authority of the Bible. In the Bible, God is speaking, and we are to hear and do what God says. So the first point is that the answer to what God is speaking to Christian fathers is found in the Bible only.

2. Who Is a Christian Father?

He is an Elect of God

First, he is an elect of God. Few there are who are elect of God. I do not understand election, but I rejoice in it, and we all should do so.

In Romans 8:29–30, Paul writes, “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.”

So Paul begins, “For those God foreknew he also predestined.” This is speaking about election. Professor John Murray said “foreknew” means “foreloved.” In eternity past, God saw us sinners. We were totally depraved. The acronym TULIP means total depravity, unconditional election (we do nothing), limited atonement (the atonement Christ accomplished does not apply to all people but only to the elect), irresistible grace (we can resist it, but God always wins) and perseverance in obedience (the proof that we are saved). So Christian fathers are elect of God. I do not understand it because I was a sinner just like anyone else—totally depraved—yet God chose me to be saved forever.

He is Regenerated

Because he is elect, a Christian father is regenerated in time. This is another truth not preached in many churches. Evangelicalism normally does not speak on regeneration. In Ephesians 2:1–5 Paul writes, “As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins.” We could only transgress God’s law and sin. Paul continues, “in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air.” Who is the ruler of the kingdom of the air? It is the devil; our father was the devil. But things changed, and now our father is the heavenly Father.

Paul goes on: “the spirit [the devil] who is now at work in those who are [always] disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our [flesh] and following its desires and thoughts.” The devil demands total obedience. “Like the rest, we were by nature objects of [God’s] wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive”—that is regeneration—“with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved through faith.” Thank God for regeneration! In regeneration we receive a new mind (the mind of God); a new will (the will of God); a new set of emotions, by which we can glory in tribulations also. I do not always glory in suffering, but once in a while I do.

He is Filled with the Holy Spirit

A Christian father is filled with the Holy Spirit; he is baptized in the Holy Spirit. Jesus said, “But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth” (Acts 1:8). God threw me out into the uttermost part of the earth. I did not like it, but there is no choice. We have to do what we have to do by the will of God.

He Obeys Jesus Christ

A Christian father hears the word of God and obeys Christ. About Jesus we read, “Although he was [God’s eternal Son], he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him” (Heb. 5:8–9). Peter said, “Make your calling and election sure” (2 Pet. 1:10). How? By present obedience.

3. A Christian Father Is the Boss in His Home

The Christian father is the ruler of his home and responsible for those under him. In 1 Corinthians 11:3 we read, “The head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man.” In the family, the father is the head, and Christ is the head of the father. The father must answer to Christ, who is Lord of all.

4. A Christian Father Manages His Home

In 1 Timothy 3:4–5 Paul writes about leaders, “He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family how can he take care of God’s church?)”

A Christian father is to manage his home. I manage my home. I do not owe any money to anyone. I am a responsible father. I work six days a week.

5. His Children Are Believers and Obedient

The Christian father’s children are to be believers and obedient to their parents and pastors, if they are elect of God. God said in Romans 9:13, “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated,” though they had the same father, same mother, and were born at the same time. So I am saying, if children are not elect, they will be wicked. Yes, we baptize them, but if they do not believe and obey, in due time they will be excommunicated.

In Titus 1:6 we read, “An elder must be blameless, the husband of but one wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient,” unless the children are non-elect. (PGM) We have had to put some people out, because it is God’s church. Jesus said, “I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it” (Matt. 16:18).

6. Fathers Are to Teach the Scriptures Daily at Home

When I was a little child, every day my parents would wake up and pray at four o’clock in the morning. Then we would wake up and pray from 5 to 6 a.m. and be taught the Scripture. We did so again from 7 to 8 p.m. as our evening sacrifice. What about you? I was trained that way, to have daily Scripture reading, teaching, praying, and singing.

7. Fathers Must Not Worship Their Children

There are parents who worship their children. Only God is to be worshiped, not creatures.

8. The Father Should Provide for His Family

In 1 Timothy 5:8 we read, “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” There are a lot of unbelievers who provide.

9. The Father Must Oversee with Whom His Children Fellowship

Fathers must see to it that the children fellowship with only godly people, as we read in Psalm 1. There are a hundred and fifty psalms in the books of Psalms, but Psalm 1 is the title psalm.

The Christian father must see to it that his children fellowship only with godly people. If parents allow their children to fellowship with ungodly people, it can destroy the children. (PGM) Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 15:33–34, “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’ Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God—I say this to your shame.”

In this church, we excommunicate ungodly people. Why? Because if we let them stay, they will corrupt others.

10. The Father Must Discipline His Children

The father must discipline his children as God disciplines his children. The word “discipline” appears in Hebrews 12:5–11 ten times. God disciplines his children.

There are five aspects of discipline. In 2 Timothy 3:16–17 we read, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is profitable for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.” Paul lists four, and to that we add “punishing.” Parents are to use the rod to drive in wisdom and drive out folly. That is what my parents did to me. All these aspects are important. We do not worship children because it is a sin to do so. “Oh,” we say, “they look so nice.” But God does not look at the outside; he looks at the heart. So we read,

And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you [it is a sign of love], because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.” Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us, and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness [we are predestined to be like Christ]. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Heb. 12:5–11)

God himself disciplines his people. In 1 Corinthians 11:30 we read, “That is why many among you are weak and sick, and a number [died].” But they will go to heaven.

The rod is the symbol of the parents’ authority. Did you use the rod? My parents did use it on me. Nowadays, we have too much money. But what does the Bible say? “If you have food and clothing, be content therewith” (1 Tim. 6:8).

“All Scripture is God-breathed.” There is no other book like the Bible. In the Bible, God speaks to us personally. “All Scripture is God-breathed”—that means God-spoken—“and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” Teach, rebuke, correct, train, and punish. I and all my siblings were punished. Were you punished with the rod, the symbol of authority in the home?

11. Parents and Pastors Must Be Respected and Obeyed

In 1 Thessalonians 5:13 we read about leaders, “Hold them in the highest [esteem] in love because of their work.” The Greek word is huperekperissou, meaning “highest esteem.” That means when the leader speaks, those under him obey. Without obedience, there is no respect.

We are told the same thing in Hebrews 13:17: “Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.” This applies to parents and pastors. I have spoken to a number of people over the years, but they did not always obey. It doesn’t matter how much money you make. The issue is, are you going to go to heaven or not?

In Ephesians 6:1 we read, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” And in Hebrews 5:8–9 we read concerning Jesus, “Although he was [God’s eternal Son], he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him.” If you do not obey Jesus, you are not saved. If that is true of you, I urge you now to repent, and God will forgive your sins.

12. Scriptures from Proverbs

I was brought up as a child with Proverbs. So we read in Proverbs 1:7–10: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head. . . . My son, if sinners entice you, do not give in to them.”

Do you know what a fool is? The Greek word is idiotes, from which we get “idiot.” The psalmist tells us, “The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God’” (Ps. 14:1). Fools do not listen to anyone, especially God. You can be the richest person in the world, but if you do not believe in God, you are a fool, an idiot. In 2 Timothy 3:15 Paul writes, “How from infancy you [Timothy] have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.” Do you think most rich people read the Bible? No, they hate God. Their god is money.

In Proverbs 13:14 we read, “The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life.” When a man of God speaks, life comes out.  And what does it do? It turns “a man from the snares of death.” Death means hell.

In Proverbs 13:24 we read, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.” How are your children doing? It’s a good question. Elsewhere we read, “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm” (Prov. 13:20).

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train a child in the way he should go.” Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life” (John 14:6). Professor Jay Adams said that six weeks is sufficient to make anything a habit. We have been reading the Scriptures for years, and it has become a habit. So the promise is, “Train a child in the way he should go,” in the way of Jesus, “and when he is old he will not turn from it.”

In Proverbs 28:13–14 we read, “He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. Blessed is the man who always fears the Lord, but he who hardens his heart falls into trouble.”

In Proverbs 3:5–6 we read, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Do not be an idiot, leaning on your own understanding rather than on God.

Proverbs 3:7 exhorts us, “Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.” “Do not be wise in your own eyes.” That is what the fool does. When we fear the Lord, we will shun evil. That is the training we had.

Proverbs 4:18–23 says, “The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day. But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble. My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words.” Do you know what “listen closely” means? It means to hear and do, immediately, exactly, and with joy. “Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a man’s whole body. Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

Finally, in Proverbs 14:7 we read, “Stay away from a foolish man, for you will not find knowledge on his lips.” A foolish, godless man lies all the time. He has no regard for the Ten Commandments. Stay away from such a man.

Conclusion

In Matthew 25:46 Jesus said, “Then they [the wicked] will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.” There is an end to our short life. We will end up either in hell or heaven, experiencing eternal life or eternal punishment.

Friends, Jesus saves sinners like me. No one else saves. And he prayed, “I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word” (John 17:6). The elect will hear God’s word and believe God’s word and obey God’s word. The wages of sin is death, and we were sinners, but God himself gave us eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ (Rom. 6:23).

In Acts 4:12 we read, “Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved.” And in 2 Corinthians 5:21 we read about Christ that “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”

This is a profound statement. Everyone obeys either God or the devil. Jesus said, “The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it more abundantly” (John 10:10). Therefore, may God help us to repent of our sins and receive forgiveness, and be saved forever. Amen.

[1] https://www.foxnews.com/us/north-korean-defector-ivy-league-nuts